At a certain local jewellery store.

Salesperson (S): May I help you? (Mega watt smile)
T-shirt, jeans, leather tote bag. I peg him for a $400 sale.

WJ: I'm just browsing along. Thank you.
Buzz off.

1 minute later

WJ: May I have a look at this?
No way I'm buying it. I just want to see it lose its sparkle from under the glaring display lamp.

S: Of course.(1 watt smile)
Only $159?! What a loser... I pity his girlfriend.

WJ: Hm. How heavy is this?
Why do you jewellers always split diamonds into innie minnie ones...

S: It's a 16 pointer, sir. (Smiles prettily)
What'd you expect?! The Hope Diamond?! Why don't you head upstairs to Hallmark. I think that's more your style: cheap.

WJ: Ah.
16 pointer split into three diamonds instead of one big one. Sharks.

S: What's your budget, Sir? Below $xxx+1? (<- some privacy here okay?!)
No good tight-fisted cheapskate. That won't even earn me enough commission to buy toothpaste.

WJ: Yup. (Grins sheepishly)
No way you're going to hoist that $1000 monstrosity on me lady. Back off or I'll sic the cops on you.

S: Can I recommend this? It's in a similar style, but the stones are slightly bigger. It's currently on sale, so it's a real big bargain!
Take it quick. No one wants it anymore. We have to sell it cheap to get it off our hands... Hey, "cheap"! Guess what? That's you!

WJ: Wow, nice. How heavy is this?
Small is good right?! Why aren't you showing me smaller ones?!

S: It's a 20 pointer, Sir. A good deal for $xxx.
Will you have to close down your bank account I wonder.

WJ: Ahh. I see. (Grins appreciatively)
$xxx?! Look lady, I said below $xxx+1. Did you have to give me something priced at the highest upper limit possible?!

S: You can compare these two, Sir. See the difference? I'd really recommend the second one.
C'mon c'mon! it's only a small difference! Get on with it! I have bigger fish to catch!

WJ: You really think this one's better?
Sure you would... Shark. Pirate. Robber.

S: Why don't you take some time to consider it Sir?
You're getting in my way - I just lost a five digit sale to my rival. Damn it. I really wanted that $20,000 bracelet. I KNEW I should have dumped this loser the moment he walked in.

WJ: Um... (Looks into display set some more.)
What? What? You think I can't afford this? You @#$@#!

S: This is our last piece though, so you should make up your mind quick. (Smiles warmly)
... and then close down your bank account and file for bankruptcy, low-rater. I swear I'll sue you for losses in revenue if you don't haul your butt out.

WJ: Alright, alright. You've managed to persuade me. I'll take this.
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

S: Will that be Credit card, Nets or cash Sir? (Smiles again)
FINALLY!!! Credit card - AS IF! ptttbbbbfffff!!!

WJ: Nets please.
I hate buying diamonds. Too bad they look so pretty for her...