Irate ST reader writes (May 1, 2005):

This is an earnest request... [to slew of authorities] to put up the
following following three types of signs:

- Do not dig nose/ ears
- Do not spit
- Do not cough/ sneeze without covering mouth

... These irresponsible, anti-social and uncivilised habits and behaviour persist and have become part of our public culture.

... Until people are properly educated and start behaving more responsibly, we cannot really call our society mature and modern.

Let's not wait for an epidemic to occur...

Why stop at those three? We should also put up signs that say:

- Do not tug on underwear, however surreptitiously (Might give others cooties when you shake hands)
- Do not pick teeth unless in isolated room (You think covering your mouth means others don't know you're playing with scraps of food?)
- Do not rub eyes (Conjunctivitis)
- Do not scratch armpits or groin (Disgusting, anti-social behaviour. Who knows when you last bathed?)
- Fingernails and toenails must be less than 3mm long (Germs)

With these signs, I can foresee an increase of 10% in tourist arrivals. Not because they are awed at our hygiene but because they want to see the joke for themselves. Now if we make all these dirty habits punishable by fines, we can probably hit a 30% increase. More fodder for firms manufacturing tourist t-shirts too.

However, I must point out that a society that needs signs to remind them to not tug at underwear in public is no more mature or modern than a society full of citizens who tug at their underwear in public. Less funny as well.

Some people are entirely too free to write such letters, as are others who blog about such letters. (I've already received death threats for blogging too much in the midst of exams!)