I'm going to give in to the juvenile geek in me today and wax lyrical about Jade Empire, which in my opinion, is the best RPG on XBox today. XBox owners who do not own the game- get it. Get it now. Now.

Six Reasons Why Jade Empire Rocks:

1) Plot - JE has a plot that will beat the stuffing out of most movies in theatres now. A bunch of silly animals who break out of a zoo? Aliens from outer space? Two women who need psychiatric help? Men playing with long swords and possibly compensating for their lack of length in... nevermind.

Who needs those when you have a legend, deceit, betrayal, romance, action, suspense and the fate of an Empire unfolding on your TV screen?

Players can expect to be actively engaged in the storyline of JE. Like politicians' pasts, the deeper you dig, the more you uncover. The plot reveals itself slowly throughout the game, and many subplots will require that you work for them. To me, JE is the closest thing to a playable novel today, and the storyline will stay with me for quite a while.

Look, even superwoman needs to offload her dinner ok?
Can I help if I do it while breaking a little wind?

2) Dialogue/ Voice Acting - JE has some of the best voice acting I've heard. No funny accents or muffled speech. It's all SGEM-endorsed. The voice actors and actresses sound authentic and expressive, and budding linguists can even try their hand at deciphering a new language dubbed Tho Fan.

The dialogue and script is also of consistently high quality, and there's enough humour to crack you up... Don't miss the cook in Tien's Landing!

Neighbours from Hell... decked out in a tarzan loincloth.
And you thought your neighbours were bad.

3) Score - For a game, JE boasts a pretty impressive score that generously employs strings, woodwind, drums and cymbals with an Oriental flavour that suits the game to a T. Don't take my word for it... listen to the Jade Empire Theme (if it isn't, it bloody well should be) and turn up the volume:

Theme
(right-click and save as... this is the 3rd frigging mirror in 2 weeks!)

Avid players of Jade Empire can find the music here. You might want to rip the wav files to mp3s though.

Update: The webpage which had the soundtrack previously has been taken down. Fortunately, Bioware's online store is retailing it, complete with exorbitant international shipping. Or you could content yourself with the main theme I have up there!

4) Graphics - See dust motes dance around you, bathed in the Empire's golden rays. Witness each blade of grass flutter in the wind, along with your sash. Experience the flight of water droplets and the fanning out of ripples as you tumble and fly over the stream. Marvel as your opponent spectacularly burn into a bah gwah crisp as you unleash your flame spell.

If you don't appreciate this level of beauty in a game, you either need a brain transplant or bifocals.

Err... I'm dressed like this cuz I wuz admirin'
the CGI! Honest!

5) Romance Subplots - With JE, you can try your hand at romance, whether you like the heterosexual variety or not. This subplot comes with a smooching scene (complete with the I'm-so-shy "under the eyelids" look from female characters) if you've played it the heterosexual way, and a black screen otherwise. I bet Dr. Balaji spoke to the game creators.

I realize romantic subplots in games have been done before, but I still get a kick out of pairing up my kickass heroine with the rascally rogue. Next time, who knows?

Your dashing hunk in service:
built like a bear and hung like a... er nevermind.

6) Fighting - Your character will leap, dodge, roll all over the screen as you gleefully sever body parts from hapless opponents. JE offers both cheesy skills and more balanced ones, so players can have it both ways.

Cheesy techniques will render opponents motionless for practically the entire battle, which sort of brings to mind the constituency elections in my neighbourhood - a total walkover.

The more adventurous player will find it fascinating to mix and match different balanced skills together during battles, amidst jumping around a la Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Lovers of gore and mayhem won't want to miss the harmonic combos, though they tend to make battles way too easy.

Hiiiiyyyahhh! Crouching Fox Leaping Player

Still here? Why are you not running to the store?

Filed under: Technology, Gaming, Picture