The two have more in common than most realize:

A) Getting that scholarship
LotR: Bilbo Baggins chances upon The Ring (made of gold). Gollum yells "My Precioooouuusss" in agony.
Realworld: You open the email (which promises gold). Competitors yell "My Precioooouuusss" in agony.

B) Spending that allowance
LotR: Frodo is tempted to put on The Ring. But doing so will cause a legion of Bad Guys to descend upon him.
Realworld: You are tempted to buy that shiny new PC. But doing so will cause a legion of debtors to descend upon you. (There's also your furious parents who yell "bai4 jia1 zi3" (loosely translated as spendthrift) and wave huge piggy banks in an attempt to get you to save up. Scary.)

C) Academic Expectations
LotR: Frodo has to fight ugly orcs, goblins and spiders. By the end of it, he becomes perpetually ill.
Realworld: You have to fight falling grades, nasty deadlines and almost impossible assignments so that you can maintain a "scholar's grade". By the end of it, you feel perpetually tired. (Fortunately I'm already on my final year... with 2 satisfactory/ unsatisfactory options to go!)

D) Moronic Tendencies
LotR: People watch a movie about Frodo's brave and wondrous exploits... and wonder if he and Sam are gay partners.
Realworld: People read your blog about your brave and wondrous exploits... and wonder how you managed to land the scholarship.

E) Surreal Babes
LotR: Frodo gets to meet drop dead gorgeous elves Arwen and Galadriel because he has The Ring.
Realworld: You get to meet drop dead gorgeous elves... only if you dream hard enough.

F) Disclaimer
LotR: The author needs to inform everyone that even though LotR comes in three volumes, it's actually a single novel and not a trilogy.
Realworld: All opinions expressed here are entirely my own and do not represent NUS, IDA, NCS or any other organizations I am affiliated with.

There. It's done. I self-proclaim this the most creative attempt to introduce a disclaimer. Ever.

Filed under: Humour