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Morning Torture
Anyone who knows me well enough should know my elegantly simple motto when it comes to exercise: No Pain, No Pain.
Having woken up today at the crack of dawn to do the pain thing, my system is therefore in quite a shock. Those people who tell you jogging is a great way to begin your day?
They lie.
Barely five minutes into the run, my brain began to chant for sleep every time one of my feet hits the concrete. That works out to approximately 3 times every 5 seconds. Midway into the run, the orderly mantra has degenerated into something like SLEEPSLEEPSLEEPEVERYWHEREHURTSSLEEPSLEEPWANTTODIEPLEASELETMESLEEP. You get the idea.
Unfortunately, this mantra could do nothing about what I not-so-affectionately dub my Jogger Chauvinism. That happens when I pick up the pace whenever I am in the vicinity of a) a bus-stop b) another jogger c) a pedestrian walking in my direction. This is despite every cell in my body reenacting a Hollywood disaster flick by weeping and begging for mercy and divine intervention or termination. The end result of Jogger Chauvinism? Limp and unresponsive limbs and aches in body parts I never knew could ache.
Runners often allude to a rush after their running session. Today, I understood what they meant. That is, if they were referring to shortness of breath, quadrupled vision, lights that appeared twice as harsh and glaring, throbbing eyelids, a sense of imminent doom, a parched throat and blood vessels threatening to burst open. Nothing like thinking you've got multiple organ failure to bring about an adrenaline rush.
So why torture myself? Here's why. It's people like him who blow my motto to smithereens and then some.
So if you do meet a guy going SLEEPSLEEPSLEEPEVERYWHEREHURTSSLEEPSLEEPWANTTODIEPLEASELETMESLEEP while sleep-running in a certain Tampines neighbourhood, be nice and give me a shove so I can gather more momentum and end the torture earlier. I'll thank you for it.
Filed under: Torture, Personal
p/s: I've exaggerated a bit in certain areas (for instance, I'm pretty sure I don't get quadrupled vision- Doubled or tripled vision at most), so there's no need to spam me with invitations for pills like Viagra. Really.
Having woken up today at the crack of dawn to do the pain thing, my system is therefore in quite a shock. Those people who tell you jogging is a great way to begin your day?
They lie.
Barely five minutes into the run, my brain began to chant for sleep every time one of my feet hits the concrete. That works out to approximately 3 times every 5 seconds. Midway into the run, the orderly mantra has degenerated into something like SLEEPSLEEPSLEEPEVERYWHEREHURTSSLEEPSLEEPWANTTODIEPLEASELETMESLEEP. You get the idea.
Unfortunately, this mantra could do nothing about what I not-so-affectionately dub my Jogger Chauvinism. That happens when I pick up the pace whenever I am in the vicinity of a) a bus-stop b) another jogger c) a pedestrian walking in my direction. This is despite every cell in my body reenacting a Hollywood disaster flick by weeping and begging for mercy and divine intervention or termination. The end result of Jogger Chauvinism? Limp and unresponsive limbs and aches in body parts I never knew could ache.
Runners often allude to a rush after their running session. Today, I understood what they meant. That is, if they were referring to shortness of breath, quadrupled vision, lights that appeared twice as harsh and glaring, throbbing eyelids, a sense of imminent doom, a parched throat and blood vessels threatening to burst open. Nothing like thinking you've got multiple organ failure to bring about an adrenaline rush.
So why torture myself? Here's why. It's people like him who blow my motto to smithereens and then some.
So if you do meet a guy going SLEEPSLEEPSLEEPEVERYWHEREHURTSSLEEPSLEEPWANTTODIEPLEASELETMESLEEP while sleep-running in a certain Tampines neighbourhood, be nice and give me a shove so I can gather more momentum and end the torture earlier. I'll thank you for it.
Filed under: Torture, Personal
p/s: I've exaggerated a bit in certain areas (for instance, I'm pretty sure I don't get quadrupled vision- Doubled or tripled vision at most), so there's no need to spam me with invitations for pills like Viagra. Really.
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