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10 Steps To Revive a Flagging Career
1) Label Taiwanese undisciplined, Hong Kongers ill-behaved, mainland Chinese inscrutable, Singaporeans stupid.
2) Pray that your remarks illicit a strong response in at least one group of people.
3) If step 2 fails, add in people of other nations (Thais are currently engaged. Maybe Malaysians and Indonesians). Repeat step 2.
4) If step 2 works, feign surprise at their ire because others have ignored your baiting.
5) Proceed to name founding father and popular songbird/ actress/ porn star as the only outstanding people you know of that nationality.
6) Pretend to be humble by adding that you could be ill-read, hence knowing few famous people.
7) Quickly overwrite effects of step 6 by employing a long and winding commentary on the nation that does nothing to explain your previous adjective ("undisciplined", "ill-behaved", "inscrutable", "stupid"). Generally aim to obfuscate your comments in step 1 by making valid observations which have nothing to do with comments in step 1.
8) Invite the nation's government or prominent universities to invite you to clarify remarks (i.e. further obfuscate original remark using tactic in step 7).
9) If step 8 works, success! You get one more opportunity to make inflammatory remarks. Repeat from step 1.
10) If step 8 fails, your remark in step 1 is true by default. Publish a book chronicling the entire process. Success! Repeat from step 1.
Note: For a detailed lesson of step 7 proceed here (Mandarin only).
Filed under: Humour, News, Singapore
I not stupid - Jack Neo, Yes you are - Li Ao, I not stupid too!- Jack Neo, Just STFU - C.Intrepid
2) Pray that your remarks illicit a strong response in at least one group of people.
3) If step 2 fails, add in people of other nations (Thais are currently engaged. Maybe Malaysians and Indonesians). Repeat step 2.
4) If step 2 works, feign surprise at their ire because others have ignored your baiting.
5) Proceed to name founding father and popular songbird/ actress/ porn star as the only outstanding people you know of that nationality.
6) Pretend to be humble by adding that you could be ill-read, hence knowing few famous people.
7) Quickly overwrite effects of step 6 by employing a long and winding commentary on the nation that does nothing to explain your previous adjective ("undisciplined", "ill-behaved", "inscrutable", "stupid"). Generally aim to obfuscate your comments in step 1 by making valid observations which have nothing to do with comments in step 1.
8) Invite the nation's government or prominent universities to invite you to clarify remarks (i.e. further obfuscate original remark using tactic in step 7).
9) If step 8 works, success! You get one more opportunity to make inflammatory remarks. Repeat from step 1.
10) If step 8 fails, your remark in step 1 is true by default. Publish a book chronicling the entire process. Success! Repeat from step 1.
Note: For a detailed lesson of step 7 proceed here (Mandarin only).
Filed under: Humour, News, Singapore
I not stupid - Jack Neo, Yes you are - Li Ao, I not stupid too!- Jack Neo, Just STFU - C.Intrepid
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