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How To Celebrate The New GST
In case you've been hiding in a deep dark cave on Jupiter and didn't hear the news (or more appropriately, decree), Singapore's GST is rising to 7% next year from its current 5%. Here's five ways how you can have a little fun:
1) Ask for a salary raise. Use the justification that since a higher GST affects the rich more, your obscenely high salary warrants an equally obscene raise to help cope with the impact. If you happen to have a low salary like us, use the justification that an astronomical raise in salary is one of the ways how a higher GST can help you. Doesn't make sense? Who cares! The incredulity you receive in return is reward enough.
2) Empty your bank account to buy luxury items like watches, SLRs, HDTVs and bling bling so extravant that their blink blink is blinding. The moment the GST goes up next year, undercut merchants by 1%, leaving yourself with a 1% profit. A $100,000 investment will net you $1,000 in profit. Presto! Your very own Progress Package.
3) Cut your children's/ husband's/ wife's allowance by 2% to offset the impact of the GST increase on you. When they protest, tell them it's better to take an allowance cut when the economy is good and promise them a comprehensive aid package a few months later. When the time comes, tell them they are not poor enough to qualify.
4) In your office, weep tears of joy and kiss the carpet exuberantly. Loudly thank your reigning god for this much needed 2% increase and for answering your prayers of helping the poor. Carry on in this vein until the whole office hushes and has its entire attention focused on you. Then pray fervently and vocally for another 3% increase next June. For added effect, ask for higher income tax as well.
5) If you operate a business which is affected by the GST increase, brightly advertise that your business will absorb the increase and decry the government's efforts as anti-consumerism. Make anti-consumerism sound like it's a mortal sin. Then proceed to raise all your prices by 2%. If outed, cite rising costs. Perennial favourites of organization like SMRT include fuel and labour.
Don't get mad at the 2%... get creative!
1) Ask for a salary raise. Use the justification that since a higher GST affects the rich more, your obscenely high salary warrants an equally obscene raise to help cope with the impact. If you happen to have a low salary like us, use the justification that an astronomical raise in salary is one of the ways how a higher GST can help you. Doesn't make sense? Who cares! The incredulity you receive in return is reward enough.
2) Empty your bank account to buy luxury items like watches, SLRs, HDTVs and bling bling so extravant that their blink blink is blinding. The moment the GST goes up next year, undercut merchants by 1%, leaving yourself with a 1% profit. A $100,000 investment will net you $1,000 in profit. Presto! Your very own Progress Package.
3) Cut your children's/ husband's/ wife's allowance by 2% to offset the impact of the GST increase on you. When they protest, tell them it's better to take an allowance cut when the economy is good and promise them a comprehensive aid package a few months later. When the time comes, tell them they are not poor enough to qualify.
4) In your office, weep tears of joy and kiss the carpet exuberantly. Loudly thank your reigning god for this much needed 2% increase and for answering your prayers of helping the poor. Carry on in this vein until the whole office hushes and has its entire attention focused on you. Then pray fervently and vocally for another 3% increase next June. For added effect, ask for higher income tax as well.
5) If you operate a business which is affected by the GST increase, brightly advertise that your business will absorb the increase and decry the government's efforts as anti-consumerism. Make anti-consumerism sound like it's a mortal sin. Then proceed to raise all your prices by 2%. If outed, cite rising costs. Perennial favourites of organization like SMRT include fuel and labour.
Don't get mad at the 2%... get creative!
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