Heartlander
Caught up with some JC mates today. Some have not changed a bit, while others have become so different from how I remember them. We don't meet up often, and so the memories I have of them are like a fractured series of polaroids. Six months, six months and another six months. Some changes astound me. They remind me how life can be so very different, that I am but an amphibian looking out at the world from within a well.
These meetups invariably put me in a mood. Most of my peers drive. Why don't I? Some wear watches which cost more than all my savings combined. Why can't I? Other people seem perfectly contented to be the heartlander to others' cosmopolitan. Why not I? Ridiculous I know, and the rational side of me never lets me forget that. Drive a car in tiny Singapore when I can buy so much more with the money? Wear a Panerai when I prefer to leave my wrist unfettered in the first place?
I am contented where I am, surrounded by people I love. In a few hours, I will brush off this uncharacteristic brooding (perhaps even find this post too private and delete it) and forget that I've ever been diminished for even thinking these thoughts. May I always be grounded enough to say that with confidence.
These meetups invariably put me in a mood. Most of my peers drive. Why don't I? Some wear watches which cost more than all my savings combined. Why can't I? Other people seem perfectly contented to be the heartlander to others' cosmopolitan. Why not I? Ridiculous I know, and the rational side of me never lets me forget that. Drive a car in tiny Singapore when I can buy so much more with the money? Wear a Panerai when I prefer to leave my wrist unfettered in the first place?
I am contented where I am, surrounded by people I love. In a few hours, I will brush off this uncharacteristic brooding (perhaps even find this post too private and delete it) and forget that I've ever been diminished for even thinking these thoughts. May I always be grounded enough to say that with confidence.
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